I don’t think I can answer that question without incriminating myself. People who know me well say it is easy for me to criticise Mubarak’s regime because if somehow it came to a contest between me and the so-called Penguin of Cairo, they don’t fancy the chances of the elderly dictator, even if he had 20 of his petrol bomb throwing camel riders backing him up. Having been asked to give an account of myself, I’ve decided to turn (the question) on my fellow Brighton Bloggers and give an account of them instead. Let’s see if they are up to the challenge or whether they wilt like bed-wetters under the pressure of properly constructed prose.
There’s a lot of these so-called Brighton Bloggers. My home town is awash with people who don’t come from here. I should know – I married one of them! However, so long as you bring the right attitude – peaceful, friendly and creative, you’re on the cards to being a naturalised Brightonian without too many intervening years. I very much doubt that all these Brighton Bloggers are actually from Brighton. The real test is whether they speak with the right tongue or whether they are feckless trouble-makers. The issue is hedonism v spiritual bliss.
First up, oh blessed techie bliss, is /dev/stu, which isn’t worth explaining to people who read a newspaper in the morning. To be honest, even a tech master-head such as me found it a little impenetrable. I guess it’s got a very specific target audience. Next, is *whatever, which is pretty much what I thought on first glance. On second glance, I thought why ever? Life is so short, why fill it up with these too common bad photos rendered to look arty? Give me a pile of bricks any day. Abandoned Art is like the index of a book with all the rest thrown away. As an old client of mine, from the days when I was a practising barrister, would say “Who would do such a thing?” Having looked at the art, I can see why it was abandoned. Thank me later for saving you the bother (or comment below). Clive Andrews blogs on various topics, with an emphasis on cycling. I liked what I read and will be reading it again, when he posts on cycling. 20 years a veggie is the diary of someone having a mid-life crisis. Good luck to him. My advice would be to keep quiet about it. There’s a religious design blog which makes you feel like you woke up in WHSmiths when it was going bankrupt: all the colours are wrong. Lord help them. 41 Places is one of these projects which makes Daily Mail readers reach for their tax codes. As we Brightonians say of the Brighton Festival, “It’s not for us.” The idea is fine, the blog is not; it’s little more than an auditing regime gone mad. 6fish is a film review site. Just when I wondered whether the legend of personal blogs in Brighton was a myth, I found Abi Rhodes’ Zigzag Wanderings. He likes pictures made by coloured pencils, like the sort done by the brainy kid in school, when you were four. About Conversation appears to be written by an American, judging by the spelling. In keeping with the culture we import from the other side of the pond, it is self-confessedly inward looking. Boring!
Not a good start eh? Next up is some angry stuff from someone calling himself a Brighton Boy. A bold claim. I wonder if it is true? I read his post of hatred towards our local traffic wardens. He compares them to Hitler. Perhaps he didn’t learn much history at school. A Mobile Phone Blog does what it says on the tin, as does A Mutual Misunderstanding. I was about to give up when I found ActionScripter; at last, a proper blog, with proper content giving you some useful information on Multimedia Development, Flash, Flex, AIR, ActionScript 3.0 Processing and OpenFrameworks. Adactio is another film review blog. Alabaster Crippens doesn’t know what is going on probably because he spends a bit too much time navel gazing. According to him, he is fat and hairy. A fellow called Alex likes stuff which is random and boring. Good for him. A completely different Alex likes stuff which is less boring, like the grid pattern on the floor of boats. Having that name must make you born to blog because yet another Alex runs a Travel Blog, which is little more than colonial hegemonism dressed up as crap. Jennie Lawes recommends drinking aloe vera. Conveniently, for her, she also flogs it.
At this point I found myself without the will to blog. Therefore, I’m changing tack and only reviewing the local bloggers I felt were worth reviewing. Though I didn’t agree with all that he said, I liked the verve displayed at the Sussex Amateur Brain Surgery Club. I just hope he doesn’t really work in the local hospital. I enjoyed reading Blogging for Blakers because it’s about a park I played in a lot as a kid. I also got bullied a lot there. Happy memories. Blognostic records some people walking the route of the Circle Line. London is a surburb of Brighton. Brighton People In Words and Pictures has got some great street portraits. I loved the old school design in Glass Half Empty. What a refreshing change from all the other blogs I’ve been wading through. Jason Kitcat was elected to represent Regency in a bye-election caused by my wife’s resignation due to ill-health. Can’t say I know the fellow very well but what I do know, impresses. He’s switched on digitally and a real family man. He’s exactly the sort of person we want to represent us real Brightonians. I enjoyed some of Jane Dalloway’s photographs. Mark Mitchell’s blog is wonderful on the eye, as is his prose.
This afternoon I read approximately 450 blogs from Brighton. Most were rubbish. Some were good. None were great. Shame on us Brighton Bloggers! Time to raise the bar.