Monthly Archives: May 2011

Review of Meadowlands Festival

Perhaps I am not best placed to offer a review of the Meadowlands Festival in 2011, having only turned up on the Sunday morning. As we arrived, lots of people were leaving. The Festival organisers can hardly be blamed for the havoc strong winds wreaked on poorly equipped campers though. We pressed on, found a depopulated site and prepared for the worst.

In fact, we had a great time. The music was excellent, by and large, with the only tired set coming from Sunday’s big name, the Penguin Cafe Orchestra. Whoever booked the bands knew what they were doing. Here’s the music I enjoyed the best:

Overall, the festival looked like a work in progress. There were no recycling facilities on site at all. That’s a highly unusual decision for event organisers these days. There needs to be separate bins for different types of waste. Without that, serving drinks in recyclable plastic cups is counterproductive because they will do more harm than good in landfill. Even with the few people still camping on Sunday night, six was an inadequate number of toilets for them; I couldn’t understand why the punters were prevented from going back onto the main field, where there were plenty more toilets. There were other tell tale signs, like the security removing the roof from the entrance tent to stop it being blown away. Charging £25 for car parking, running the whole event on recycled oil and solar power were brave moves. I hope the organisers continue to work on this project and hope to go next year.

How to win at roulette

The second best way to win at roulette is not to play. That way, you stand no risk of losing money, which is a pretty good result against the house. I never gamble. Okay, okay, very occasionally, for social reasons. I’ve played poker twice; one time winning everybody’s money, which felt awful, and another time when I ended up 50 pence up on the night. That was a night when some people lost £40.

Jo at Apokerlypse Now

Last night, I found myself in Apokerlypse Now, a casino at the Meadowlands Festival. Apokerlypse Now were raising money for Magpie, an excellent cause. I put £1 on the roulette table and with the notion that Magpie would get £1 or I might win enough to buy a beer. Unfortunately, I hadn’t understood the house rules. No money was going to leave the house. The night before they had been awarding drinks as prizes at declared winning thresholds but by last night they had run out of drinks and were awarding Hawaiian shirts instead. Winnings of £5 qualified for a Hawaiian shirt.

Scrapper Duncan Hawaiian Style

Here’s how I won my Hawaiian shirt. I only ever bet on evens. Mostly I put down only 20 pence. When there had been several odd numbers in a row, I put down a bigger bet, still on evens. It was painful being by far the most boring player in the house. At the point when I realised that I wasn’t going to be able to cash in my chips for a beer, I played for the shirt. The call of nature began to press on me most urgently so I played some larger bets. Oscillating between 20 pence left and £4.40 for about 45 minutes, I grew bored but couldn’t see the point of abandoning the exercise, especially after telling my wife that I would get the shirt. Just after an hour at the table, I crossed the £5 threshold and claimed the shirt. I was the only shirt winner on the night. That’s the third best way to win at roulette: walk away when you have winnings.

The best way of all to win at roulette is to play at a charity event. If you win, you win but when you lose, your conscience wins.

Owed to John Hegley

I didn’t want to hear Hegley again,
But I went along with three girls and no men,
To listen. I thought it would be
More children’s poetry.
Not the serious spiritual bit he had
Prepared about life, death and his Dad.

Surprisingly good this Meadowlands festival.

Meadowlands Festival

image

The free for all of my youth has gone away, for me at least. Gone are the days of bunking over or under a fence, slumming my way through a weekend of famous acts and struggling with the post festival guilt afterwards. These days, I can’t being myself to carry on like that but the prices are higher than ever so I’m restricted to one day tickets. Here I am at the Meadowlands festival in Glynde. There’s been other changes too. I can get my head around the lack of drug taking, the smoking ban, the family atmosphere but was flummoxed to be accosted by a woman pushing her forthcoming set by ordering a business card. The strategy worked. Check out Apples And Eve at myspace… Great stuff…

Theatre Review: Alice Cracked

The Original Alice?

Normally theatre critics see a show on its first night and report on that performance. Pah! I say let others take their chances with the first night, wait until the show has tightened itself up with live audiences, go along on its final night and report then about something which no-one can see any more. In the case of Alice Cracked, I cry, “Ha – you missed it! You missed a great show!”

The final performance of this show at the Rock Inn, Rock Street, Kemptown last night, was one of the most interesting theatrical experiences in this year’s Brighton Festival fringe. Held ‘in the round’, we were led by Alice of Wonderland fame from one of the pub’s classic back rooms, into the

1920s Alice - When Hash Brownies Were Still Exciting

cellar (with its famous well), up onto the top floor, through the garden and back into the bar. Cosy spaces and a cast almost as large as the capacity audience produced an intimate work based on famous or notorious Alices through the ages. There was Alice Hall, a fictionalised character borne out of the music hall, Alice Liddell, the real life girl who was the inspiration for Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, Alice B Toklas, famous for hobnobbing with the Avante Garde artists of Paris and for her hash brownies, Alice Herz, an American anti-war activist who died by self-immolation at the age of 82 in a protest against the Vietnam war, Alice Young, the first woman to be tried and hung for witchcraft in the USA and Alice Orlowski, an SS officer and concentration camp prison guard known for her exceptional cruelty.

Guess Which Alice?

A nasty moment arose when an audience member was ordered to undress some dolls but thankfully she was paying attention and she refused. They were clearly symbolic of the Jews about to be murdered in the holocaust. With original and compelling music by the Looking Glass Orchestra (David Ingledew on the piano composed the score, Simon Walker played the violin and Elliot Cormack took on the guitar), we were thrown from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other, at one moment laughing and being carried along with the swimsong journey of life and at another being awkward and reduced to discomfort. Having watched footage of the mass murder committed at the behest of Ratko Mladić only the day before, I found some of the points being made a bit too much but well made all the same.

Before the start of the Brighton Festival I applauded the appointment of Aung San Suu Kyi as the Guest Director. I also repeated the often heard expression amongst us genuine Brightonians about the Festival, “It’s not for us.” I was challenged on that and defended myself. However, last night I think the audience consisted of local people and the issues were as relevant for Brighton as they are for the people of the Balkans or Burma. Lots of respect to Josh and Ben at the Rock Inn for allowing such an experimental and hard hitting event to take place in their pub. They were never going to make money out of this event or win substantial new business. I guess that they did out of the sheer goodness of themselves.

Leo Littman cracks joke to make serious point

As I promised in the election campaign, Leo Littman has introduced a human element into the pretty dull political process that we endure locally. His maiden speech on 26th March 2011 in a full council meeting contained the joke, “As maiden speeches go, this won’t be up there with Disraeli.”, which cracked up the other councillors. He went on to propose a review of councillors’ allowances. The long and the short of it is that the Brighton & Hove Green Party councillors have persuaded the majority of the City council to accept a pay freeze for themselves.

Unfortunately the agreement ended there. The council leader, Bill Randall, another Green of course, proposed that the review look into providing an allowances for child care or for people who were carers so that they too could be councillors. This is an excellent idea. One of the problems we have (and is replicated nationwide) is that the only people really suited to being councillors are those who know that they will have sufficient money for their entire lives and who basically don’t have to look after anyone else themselves. There isn’t a convenient expression for this demographic group but in parliament they are represented by the thieving Tory bastards. Indeed, it has been reported that after the full council meeting ended, local thieving Tory bastard councillor Dawn Barnett criticised the prospect of funding childcare for councillors. Please note that Ms Barnett is not actually a member of that zombie party in my book, because she has not been elected or selected for parliament, but she has been elected on their behalf, so her soul is damned in the same way.

Councillor Rob Jarrett has declared that the Green councillors intend to reduce the allowances paid to councillors and that the main point being made at this council meeting was that the Greens wanted to decline a proposed 1% rise in pay.

RIP Gil Scott-Heron

Gil Scott-Heron, the man who invented rap and whose politically informed music inspired a generation, has died aged 62. He rejected the idea that he had created a new kind of music, admitting only that music had crept into his poetry. I’ll leave it to others to eulogise him. Go and listen to that poetry instead. I’ve seen him play many times, in Cardiff in the 1990s, where he seemed to be forever on the bill. He’ll be much missed. Few are able own an authenticity like him, to sound old when they are new.

Here’s my favourite, which contains more political analysis of the way American democracy works than any amount of mainstream commentary:

Cooking in the Cave: Episode 17 – Mushroom & Spinach Soup

I’ve ramped up my culinary skills with this number – my first ever soup. Who, apart from me, would be so arrogant as to proffer a cookery lesson on a meal which he’d only just learnt to make? (God springs to mind… ) Watch, learn and enjoy…

I’d like to think that I’ve also ramped up my film making skills, with different camera angles, a natty dialogue between me off-screen and me on-screen and a clearer narrative connection between what I’m saying and what I’m doing. Without a second camera or man to work it, or even a tripod, I’ve begun to make my own tripods. Some garden footage has been shot with the phone resting in some polysterene packaging. In this video, I’ve wedged it between various receptacles and a fish shaped corkscrew. Seems to work.

The video is, as usual, permanently posted in my cookery film channel, Cooking in the Cave, which might be easier to find in the future (or link to).

Congestion charges for Brighton & Hove?

Being one of Brighton’s non car owning residents, I would personally be rather pleased if we could reduce traffic levels back to those which it existed in the early 1970s. Everyone can have a selfish argument about this if we want. The other extreme would be to propose, as the local thieving Tory bastards did prior to the local elections in 2007, to construct underground car parks in all sorts of bonkers places, e.g. under Montpelier Crescent! These selfish arguments get us nowhere, fast. A bit like attempting to drive around Brighton & Hove.

All At Sea

The two most common complaints from visitors are that there is nowhere to park and that the beach is covered in stones, not sand. Incidentally, isn’t it further proof that most people in Britain are frighteningly stupid when these visitors repeatedly claim that all the pebbles on the beach were put there by the Victorians? The parking complaint is equally alarming in its idiocy. These people have repeatedly visited Brighton but cannot work out that they should drive to another town, park there and then catch the train into Brighton. If, for some reason, they must leave their car in Brighton proper, they could use our local Park & Ride scheme. The local bus service is excellent, with hundreds of buses. We’ve even got a local bus company which runs on recycled fuel!

The Big Lemon's Buses Run On 100% Locally Sourced Cooking Oil

Leaving Hove aside for a moment ( :-) ), Brighton’s street plan is pretty much a congestion charge in itself. At some point in the last century, our roads were gridlocked and a one way street was introduced. Predictably, traffic moved again. People complain about the one way system because they can’t remember the previous state of affairs. Either that or they are the sort of people who complain because their mothers never taught them to be positive. Viaduct Road, where I was apparently moved to when I was 18 months old, actually now enjoys lulls in the traffic whereas before it was a continuous shit hole. On a hot summer’s busy day, the traffic still moves albeit very slowly. The idiotic visitors who drive our local economy have to rush to spend money when they get here because they have wasted so much time sitting in their car on the London Road, queuing to get into town.

Queueing To Get Into Brighton

The fundamental problems with the current state of affairs are:

  • localised, ground level pollution
  • cycling is less safe than it needs to be

Apparently there about 80,000 commuter car journeys into Brighton & Hove every day; these drivers cover about three miles each. This accounts for nearly one-fifth of our local carbon emissions. Daily pollutant levels are published. A report from 2007 says that many City centre areas exceed the recommended safety limits for Nitrogen Dioxide.

Many more people would cycle if there were less cars in the City centre. This appears to be unarguable now, following London’s experience.

The Debate Will Be When & Where, Not If

It is often said that a congestion charge would destroy many businesses in Brighton. Surely people come to Brighton because they want to be able to walk around? Surely they don’t come because they want to spend hours waiting in their cars, trying to enter our quaint little streets? It was very naughty of the thieving Tory bastards locally to claim that the Brighton & Hove Green Party were intending on introducing a congestion charge. That was a bare faced lie. It was not in the local Green manifesto for this political term. I’d like to see a serious debate about whether it might be included in the next Green manifesto. Any congestion charge would have to include some local people and taxis. That would be easy to manage – it’s a simple registration of number plates. As to which local people would have to be excluded, that is a big issue and far too large for one post on this blog. The smart move would be making it tough to drive into the very City centre on weekends only to begin with. The zone could start where there were appropriate park and ride schemes – if necessary it can have panhandles to reach those points. Once people have got used to the idea, it could be extended by popular consent.

To end on a controversial note, removing cars from New England hill would be my idea of heaven! Just imagine the pleasure of cycling up it, yes up, without any cars. Its a classic hill ruined by motorists hammering their way past you.

Would you ask the lady with the log to speak up?