Many people like to present their best face to the camera. Twitter and other social networks are full of profile pictures which flatter the owners enormously. I’m no different, having long ago discovered that I come off worse when smiling, photogenically speaking. Women who are insecure about the size of their cleavage or men concerned about their haggard looks get photographed from above and there are all sorts of other trade tricks to make people look more beautiful. This post is not about those tactical angles but about how to get the best software to perform cleaning job on your dirty image.
Yes, folks we’ve come a long way since the days of MicroSoft Paint but many people don’t realise that they don’t have to pay for state of the art image manipulation software. I’m not suggesting that you save the cover price of £605 (ouch), by obtaining a cracked copy from your favourite bit torrent service or Usenet. I’m suggesting you use GIMP. This is not a dodgy person who for reasons lost in the recesses of his or her tortured sexual psyche cannot achieve orgasm without permanently wearing a mask. This is not one of those blogs, which leads you in with one subject and then hurriedly presents another.
GIMP could be described as a photoshop clone. Personally, I think it is considerably better than photoshop because it is completely free and has all the functionality that photoshop has plus some extra features although I cannot recall what they are. It is open source, by the way. I’ve been using GIMP for several years now, without any difficulties. There are any number of decent fast paced walk throughs for various techniques online. The trick with a walk through is to watch it once at normal speed and then watch it again hitting the pause button frequently as you go through it a second time.
The moral of this story is that anything you have seen the professionals do with images, you can do at home, with patience for free. You can tidy up your image, you can clean off the dirt but don’t forget if you’re a parasite who lives off horse shit, no matter what you do you’ll never escape the tarnishing that you got from getting into bed with the thieving Tory bastards, Clegg. We won’t forget, we won’t forgive.
Clegg contemplates his inevitable spanking
Obviously, I’m in a rush and don’t want to waste time on this snivelling little shit.