Monthly Archives: May 2012

Look what I laid today

Intended to entertain you today with either the story of the time my life was threatened in Samarkand (Uzbekistan) because I’d been mistakenly identified as a Russian. Should have written that this morning, instead of playing chess. I do play better in the morning though. At 10:30am, I got down in my hands and knees and began to lay cork tiles on my kitchen floor. Here’s the end result and you can picture me, all washed up, frazzled from incidental glue sniffing, propping up the bar in my local for last orders, 12 hours later. ..

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Corked

Virgin Media denies original speed promise but guarantees it will be delivered within 48 hours anyway

This morning a Virgin Media “engineer” turned up to fix my broadband, which was broken again. That’s the second time in two weeks. He told me that the signal strength had been set in the box up the road to “low“. That surprised me a little since only nine days ago another Virgin Media “engineer” turned up to fix my broadband and he told me that he had set it to “medium“. He also used the occasion to tell me a blatant lie. I knew it was a lie. Virgin Media subequently admitted that it was a lie too. Of course, they couldn’t do that at first. At first they called it an “assumption“:

tweets showing Virgin Media describing lies as assumptions

Virgin Media describes lies as assumptions

Realising that the only way to force Virgin Media to face the facts was to point them to a detailed explanation. Consequently, I published a post entitled “Blatant lie by Virgin Media engineer“. Then, using a shortened link to it, I pointed their twitter feed to it. At last, they confessed that their engineer had not been telling the truth:

tweets showing that Virgin Media admits that one of its engineers lied

Virgin Media admits that one of its engineers lied

The service worked for a few days and then broke again. This morning’s “engineer” asked to use my laptop. I refused. My machines are private. As it happened I was using it for something rather grand and did not wish to interrupt that work. It is also rather difficult to get to physically. The “engineer” didn’t have one of his own. He told me that the company only provided two for “engineers” in my area! The wifi signal did not seem to work on my phone. The “engineer” left and said he would arrange another visit “either this morning or early in the afternoon“. Another engineer turned up at 11:30am. Harry definitely knew what he was talking about. We discussed the technicalities of broadband for some time. He was no bullshitter. Also, he carried a special machine which could measure decibels of signal strength. He said the machine cost £4,500. With that he demonstrated that the incoming cable to my house, which he said was not one of the company’s cables but a TV incoming cable from somewhere else, was the source of the problem. He rejoined the cable and proved that the signal strength had dramatically increased. Thanks Harry!

Musing on the poor service offered by this company and the fact that Virgin Media abuses its monopoly, I decided that I would no longer sit back and allow them to deliver less than a third of the download speed I pay for. I’m well aware that the speed is declared to be a “maximum“. However, I do think that I should occasionally be granted that maximum and often get close to it. I’ve been testing the speed twice a day for several months now. I do not bit torrent. I do watch videos and my wife watches television via BBC’s iplayer and, from time to time, God forbid, ITV. I’m aware of the throttling policies. I doubt very much that I break them. Certainly they haven’t been broken when the internet service has been broken for several days. Yet the results from the speed test are always exactly the same.

Virgin Media Speed Test in Brighton on 30Mbps connection

Virgin Media Speed Test in Brighton on 30Mbps connection

Harry made a call on my behalf to discover what speed I was entitled to. He tells me that I am only due to received 10Mbps! Every time I telephone Virgin Media, I am told that I am due to get 30Mbps. Is this not misrepresentation?

Before Harry arrived, I decided that I would contact Virgin Media to ask for my money back. No matter how simply I put the question, “You only deliver one-third of the speed which I pay for. Can I have two-thirds of my money back? Yes or No?” (it’s a simple question), the answer was always the same, “I understand, Mr Roy, and I think you want to… [followed by nothing I had spoken about]“. Eventually, I hung up and decided to contact Virgin Media via its contact form on the internet. After selecting the relevant options, I was invited to click on a button marked “Contact Us“. This button was broken. Nothing happened at all. Repeatedly. This is the Virgin Media Contact Us page and this is what it looked like – the red button in the bottom right-hand corner is the one which doesn’t function properly:

Virgin Media ask you to contact them via a broken button

Virgin Media ask you to contact them via a broken button

Clearly, this is a company which makes it difficult to contact them. Incidentally, it is also a company which prefers not to update its service status on its own website. Finally, I pay for “Broadband Size L“. That is advertised as being 30Mbps:

Virgin Media Broadband Speed L - advertised speed via Google

Virgin Media Broadband Speed L - advertised speed via Google

This confirms what I have been told repeatedly on the phone. Yet Harry has confirmed that only one-third of 30Mbps is being delivered. There doesn’t seem to be any sensible way of contacting Virgin Media about this misrepresentation. I tried one more time on the telephone. This time I was told that what I was originally told was wrong but it was now correct. What does that mean? It means that I will not be offered a refund. To cut a long story short, I have now been promised 30Mbps within 48 hours. Meanwhile, I have found this form to contact Virgin Media.

The Olympics in the year I was born was very different from today

I’d be surprised if any athletes competing in the London 2012 Olympics will be engaged in political activity, let alone regard the event they are competing in as secondary to their activism. That is what happened in 1968. Here’s John Carlos, explaining why he raised his fist in the Black Power salute on the podium in Mexico City.

 

My experience of a medical trial

Many years ago, when I lived in Cardiff, I took part in a medical trial. Apparently the boffins in the white lab coats were testing a common cold remedy. At least, that’s what they told us unemployed youths. They gave us a little plastic cup of liquid to drink and some more to take home. When we returned a week later, we had to fill in a form which asked various questions about how we felt. After that we were paid a small sum of money. Apart from the initial drink at the medical trial centre, I didn’t drink any of it. I poured each one away, into my sink. Here’s the thing though – I did it at the time I was asked to drink it. I’d like to claim that I kept the timings accurate so as to participate properly to an extent. Actually, it was an individual decision each time. Also there was a raging debate amongst those of us taking part in the trial. A very good friend of mine diligently took his medicine saying, “It might be a placebo – who cares?” Well, I did. For the cash at any rate. I invented most of the answers on the form too except that in the final explanation box I confessed that I had not drunk any of the colourless liquid. The medical student conducting the trial glanced over my form and paid out the money anyway. Unsurprisingly, there is still no cure for the common cold.

More recently, I wondered if there might be some more medical trials I could participate in. I found that a company which will take you on for medical trials. Being a little overweight, I wondered if I might participate in a trial aimed at men who are a little overweight. Approximately £2,500 was to be paid for hanging around a lot of other overweight men for 17 days. I could do that. I got stuck on the second question on the elibility form though. It’s not that I don’t understand the question. It’s more that I cannot see what purpose it could have in a trial about obesity. Here’s the start of the form – click on the image below to enlarge?

Medical Trial Eligibility Form

Medical Trial Eligibility Form

Am I being overly suspicious? I searched for a trial of preferred surfing rituals for men who like playing chess and tweeting a lot but there didn’t seem to be any. I can’t think why not. Clearly, there is a gap in the market. Researchers!

Boys blown out to sea from Brighton beach in a dinghy

A number of men have drowned recently on the Sussex coast. They were strangers to the people they lost their lives saving. The sea is a dangerous place and these tragedies seem to repeat themselves endlessly. This tale is a true story.

When I was fifteen years old, my parents took me on holiday to Italy. We toured around various fascinating ancient places and settled for a while on a campsite in the South, a little way down the coast from Naples. Joy of joys, we had a rubber dinghy! I became used to taking this dinghy quite far out to sea and paddling back again. I did not realise that the Mediterranean does not have a tide. Brighton beach certainly does have a tide. Nowadays, if I go for a dip, I prefer to swim when the tide is coming in. I can swim against the outgoing tide but it is hard work. However, this distinction did not occur to the boyish me.

Upon my return, a friend’s family invited me to our local beach for a day of seaside silliness. My pal, Alex Lynford, suggested I bring my dinghy along. As soon as we got to the beach, we set about inflating it, whilst Alex’s two sisters and Mum readied a blanket with a spread of food. Alex’s Dad spread open his copy of the Daily Telegraph and began to read it. He was different from the fathers of all my other friends – much quieter. He barely spoke and when he did, he was very formal indeed. Apparently he was a top civil servant. More of him later.

The dinghy inflated, Alex and I waded into the sea with it and hopped aboard. I suggested that I paddle out a little way and Alex paddle back. Alex readily agreed. Facing the wrong way, I rowed us out to sea. After a while, Alex suggested that he take his turn at the oars and row us back. I wasn’t ready to give up the controls just yet. I insisted on rowing some more. The sea deepened in colour as we left the other swimmers and dinghies behind. Confident in my seamanship, I carried on rowing. Alex began to mention rowing back increasingly often and I sensed some fear in him. Normally, he was utterly without it and I rather enjoyed seeing him unsettled like this. After a while he said, “The swell is getting rather big.

It certainly was, for a dinghy at least. Typical peaks and troughs were about half as high again as the dinghy was long. We were having more fun than on a fair ground ride! Completely carried away, I announced that we might see if the dinghy could jump out of the water. I jumped up and down in resonance with the waves and a couple of times the dinghy did indeed part company with the surface. Alex was thrown into the air. The colour drained out of his face as he shouted, “You’re insane! You have a death wish! You want to get us killed!” On land, Alex often knowingly scared me with his mad cap antics. I was really enjoying the role reversal. “Scared of dying are you?“, I asked him and kept bouncing. His response made it very clear that he was very scared of dying right then. “Yes, yes I am scared. Why aren’t you?” It never occurred to me that he might have a good point. Nevertheless, I pitied him for being scared and stopped the bouncing. Back to my rowing, I meditated on whether he would treat me differently on land or whether I was in for some dreadful circumstance that would involve provoking some bigger lads in the park into a fight. That was the sort of fear Alex thrived on. He could afford to – he had the 3rd dan Black Belt in Judo. I guess that out to sea this was less comfort to him. I rowed on enjoying the deep blue-green colour of the water until…

… Alex remarked, in a shaky voice, “We’re quite far out y’know?” For the first time, I turned around and was astonished to see that the beach was now out of sight. The land itself had turned into a thing strip just about visible on the horizon. “Yeah“, I said nonchalantly, “we’d better go back“. Alex and I swapped places and he began to row. He wasn’t much good at it. He’d never done it before. Now, whether my rowing had been effective or not, I do not know. I have no doubt that the wind had been carrying us out to sea. However, at the time, I did not realise this and laughed at seeing Alex unable to do something. Normally he was brilliant at everything (so I believed). His miscoordination with the oars was compounded by him constantly looking over his shoulder to see whether the land was getting bigger or smaller.

It was getting smaller. This was a new experience for me. Far off those Italian beaches, rowing towards the land brought you nearer it. Here, we seemed to be drifting out faster than ever. The rapidly decreasing sliver of land on the horizon soon disappeared altogther. I think this means that we were about four or five miles out to sea.

Suddenly, a windsurfer came by. “You’re quite far out lads – do you want any help?” he asked. Without hesitation I replied, “Oh no, we’re fine. I’ve done this before. Thanks for asking but don’t worry about us!” On hearing these words the windsurfer shot away. “What the hell did you say that for?!!” Alex was a complex befuddle of rage and fear. “We got ourselves out here, we should get ourselves back“, was my reply, although as I said it I did wonder, for the first time, as to the sense of this reasoning. Alex was beyond wondering. He was now doubting we would get back at all. “You’re nuts. You’re really nuts. We could have turned back ages ago but you insisted on coming all the way out here. We could have got rescued but you turned the offer down. We’re lost at sea. We don’t even know which way the land is anymore!” He was beside himself with agitation. To calm him down I said, “Come on, that sort of talk isn’t going to save us, what about team spirit? Let’s take an oar each and paddle simultaneously – that’s faster.

Now we both faced the direction we supposed the land had last been seen at. Each of us dug our paddles into the sea at the same time and pulled hard. Without any points of reference it was difficult to see any progress. The occasional piece of scum on the ocean’s surface seemed to indicate that there was none. If anything, we seemed to be floating out faster than before. For the first time, the roasting sun stopped distracting me and I began to realise the enormity of what I had done. “Perhaps your parents will have called out the lifeboat?” “Yes, probably when we disappeared over the horizon… let’s hope they can find this small vessel in the entire English Channel.” Alex had completely lost his sense of adventure.

Very unexpectedly, the windsurfer came back. He was looking really worried. “Hey, lads, you’re really far out now. I don’t think you can get back without help. I could give you a tow.” He wasn’t really asking, he was just giving plain instructions in a way that two idiots could not refuse. Well, one idiot. Before he could finish, Alex blurted out, “Yes, yes, please don’t leave us, we need rescuing.” I really didn’t think there was any need for this sort of shameless begging. The man was already on the scene helping us. I didn’t realise that windsurfers went that far out to sea. Looking back, I recall we passed a number of hardcore windsurfers who were enjoying the swell well off the beach. Doubtless he had peeled away from them to look after us. Twice. I didn’t even discover his name.

The windsurfer said we’d need a rope. Luckily there was one wrapped through the handles on the outside of the dinghy. We tied it around his mast and around a handle on the dinghy. The pull was so strong that had we just allowed him to tow us, the rubbery handle would have been ripped off the dinghy. Alex and I lay down and wrapped the rope around our hands before tying it through the handle. Thus prostrated, with rope cutting the skin off  our hands, we were towed back. The windsurfer explained that because the wind was coming directly off the land, we could not travel back to the beach directly. He would have to “tack“. He said we might end up in Shoreham. “Shoreham is fine!” exclaimed Alex. I think for Alex, Worthing would have been fine. Dieppe would have been fine. We ploughed on, with lots of waves breaking over the front of the dinghy, splashing over our faces. We gulped for air in the nearly constant stream and wondered whether we might drown whilst being rescued. I hoped this did not happen. The windsurfer would end up in trouble for trying to help.

By the time our hero delivered us to Shoreham beach, we were too exhausted, cut and half-drowned to talk much to each other. We thanked the surfer and he set off to return to his friends on the ocean. I’ve often wondered about this man. Without doubt, he saved our lives. He did it in a way, which did not humilate either of us. He parted company with no warning as to future conduct. Within seconds of his departure the wind had him racing back out to sea, much as we had done that morning.

The beach at Shoreham is three miles from the beach we had originally set off from. For some reason – probably an exhaustion of the senses – we never thought to deflate our dinghy. In our swimming trunks and barefooted, we walked all the way along the seafront, carrying the damn thing. I felt sure that we would be in considerable trouble. Alex had apparently passed through the hell of despair and emerged jubilant. He kept rambling about how far out we had gone and conjecturing that we’d probably gone further out than anyone in a dinghy ever had. Eventually, we got back to the beach where we had left his parents.

We approached them from behind. Alex’s Dad was still sitting in the same position, still reading the newspaper. He must have been a very slow reader. We’d been gone for about six hours. His Mum and sisters were standing on the edge of a shingle shelf, looking out to sea. “Hello, we’re back!” The women spun around and gasped with joy. They had evidently been crying. A lot. I was shocked to see them looking so upset but even more shocked to hear how they had treated the disaster. Alex’s Mum and sisters had wanted to call the coastguard but Alex’s Dad had dissuaded them. Instead of ignoring his instructions, they had submitted to it. As the girls rushed up the beach to welcome us, he said, “You see – I told you they’d be fine. Boys will be boys.

Alex and I threw ourselves on the food that was left. After we’d eaten, Alex’s sister Barbara asked if she could have a go in the dinghy with me? Delighted at the prospect of taking her for somewhere for a while, without Alex, I said, “We’ll only go a little way out this time.” But Barbara was not to be swept along with me because Alex jumped up, grabbed a fork, rushed towards the dinghy and stabbed some holes in it. For years afterwards, Alex would introduce with the words, “This is my friend Duncan. Don’t ever get in a boat with him.

Does Occupy London endorse content scraping, aggressive communications and diabolical name calling? Stephen R Moore does….

This morning I narrated an account of how one of the Occupy London activists had come to warn me to “beware”. There wasn’t any logic to it. Briefly, he had begun by asking me if he could organise an idea to democratise the City of London, which I proposed on this blog. Cool. I’ve got no problem with that. Much later I discovered a particular website had scraped all my content from one of the two posts outlining my original idea. I sent a message to the website. Stephen R Moore turned out to be behind the website – the same man who had originally asked if I minded if I organise the plan. He sent me a Facebook message. I replied with a polite request that he take down my content (you can read the entire conversation at the link above, where there are also links to my copied blog post). Stephen R Moore replied with a warning that I should “beware”. He’s a big guy, by the way. I swiftly published this warning and the back story to it. I also sent him a link to it. This is his reply:

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Charming. It is difficult to see how such comments, let alone the warning to “beware”, are justified by anything I have done. Here’s someone who has resorted very swiftly to an aggressive approach to a legitimate challenge. Here’s someone who was heavily involved in Occupy, serving on the night watch team. Here’s someone who is unlikely to name friends and influence people. Stephen R Moore, your conduct is unacceptable.

What’s the ethical response to this sort of thing? Should I feel threatened by his warning to “beware”? Luckily for Mr R Moore, I don’t on this occasion. Otherwise, I’d call the police without hesitation. That’s their job right? To gather evidence about thieves who warn people off. Let’s be clear about this, Mr R Moore, who says he us a pro-business Occupy activist, has knowingly stolen text written by someone else, invented the sham excuse that it was not publicly published (it was), warned me to “beware” and now described me as “evil”. Is he still active in Occupy? Does Occupy endorse his actions?

Content scraper & Occupy activist Stephen R Moore warns blogger to beware

I’m the blogger in question. Some time ago, when I was still under the illusion that the Occupy movement was capable of adopting serious political goals and developing a coherent revolutionary approach, I wrote a plan for a democratic attack on the City of London Corporation. Shortly afterwards, I wrote a more detailed account of what hurdles would have to be overcome for a mass voter registration scheme in the City of London. Via Facebook, Stephen R Moore contacted me and asked if he could act upon the idea. Of course, I had no objections.

Recently, I discovered that a website called Occupy City of London Corporation had republished the entirety of one of the posts linked to above (I forget which). Sure, they had given me a link, but I did think that copying the entire post was a bit cheeky. So I got in touch with them. Thus Mr R Moore contacted me via Facebook again and we had what I thought was a polite conversation. During that chat, I politely asked him if he would remove my text and made it clear that I was not making an “hard demands”. Next thing I know, he was is warning me to “beware”. Here’s the whole conversation – click on the image below to enlarge it.

Why, exactly, should I “beware”? What sort of person is this, who first scrapes content written by someone else, then claims it wasn’t published (when it was) and, finally, warns off the polite blogger by telling him to beware? I look forward to hearing about whether there will be a mass voter registration scheme made successful in the City of London Corporation. However, I doubt very much that someone with this aggressive attitude can be relied upon to maintain the long term alliances necessary for political action.

Mr R Moore, I just browsed through your Facebook wall, before cancelling our “friendship”. Was a bit surprised with what I found there. You’re no ordinary progressive political activist are you? Certainly, you don’t seem to have a problem with our cultural proclivity for the objectification of women. Here’s a picture you shared.

Stephen R Moore shared this image under the title, "DREAM GIRLFRIEND"

Stephen R Moore shared this image under the title, "DREAM GIRLFRIEND"

Dream on, buddy. There were various pictures of women on your Facebook Wall. These were not pictures which referred to the awesome role played by the women of Tahrir Square. They were not pictures which showed women in a positive light. Do these pictures reveal your attitude to women, Mr R Moore?

Stephen R Moore says he is an Occupy activist. He shared this image on his Facebook Wall.

Stephen R Moore says he is an Occupy activist. He shared this image on his Facebook Wall.

Okay, it’s a funny image, perhaps. Actually, I think the humour here is weak. However, taken together with all the images of women shown from a sexual point of view, it rather looks like Mr R Moore posted it on his Facebook wall because he likes images which objectify women. Here’s another one.

Stephen R Moore posted this image on his Facebook wall. He claims to be an Occupy activist.

Stephen R Moore posted this image on his Facebook wall. He claims to be an Occupy activist.

All of this raises once again, the ugly side of Occupy. Without any form of structure or coherent policies around which they are united, there seems to be no desire to exclude people like Stephen R Moore. People who warn others to “beware”, for no apparent reason. People who routinely post pictures of women which highlight their sexual ‘function’ above all others. Whilst there are a number of estimable individuals involved in Occupy, sadly there are too many people like Stephen R Moore. This is not the first time I’ve been warned off. The trouble is, it isn’t even clear what I’ve been warned off this time!

No attempt to arrest Tony Blair at the Leveson Enquiry

Yesterday, I asked whether Tony Blair would be arrested to at the Leveson Enquiry today? So far, he has not been. However, a protestor did manage to obtain access to the judicial corridor in the Royal Courts of Justice this morning. He used that corridor to burst into the Enquiry during Blair’s evidence, whereupon he shouted allegations that Tony Blair was a war criminal and had been in the pay of JP Morgan. Mr Blair used the opportunity to deny the allegations and claimed that the media tended to make news out of one heckler out of a crowd of a thousand. No, Mr Blair, it is not 1/999. The proportions of people pursuing you for war crimes is much higher than that. Wherever you go, whatever you do, we are watching you. We are constantly preparing ourselves to catch you. Here’s the protestor, in a white shirt, with Mr Justice Levenson looking like he might be about to shake his hand, which he isn’t. I’d like to though.

Tony Blair Not Being Arrested By Peace Campaigner

Tony Blair Not Being Arrested By Peace Campaigner

During his brief spell in the limelight, this fellow got under Blair’s skin and provoked him into denials. He shouted that Mr Blair, “ought to be arrested”, which isn’t the same thing as attempting to arrest him. I suspect that the fellow wasn’t motivated by money (I’m talking about the protestor, not Mr Blair, obviously) but if he were minded to claim the bounty for attempting to arrest Blair, would he have a viable chance of the reward? I think not. There’s a big difference between saying someone ought to be arrested and actually attempting the arrest. Although the bounty hunters are asked to touch Mr Blair physically, I don’t think that is necessary to perform an attempted arrest. Here’s the whole incident:

Mr Blair must be getting used to this sort of thing by now. He probably half expects it every time he appears in public. Most of the time he can probably rely on wealth barriers to filter these awkward voices out of the room – he charges a reputed £10,000 for a lecture. Not bad for an hour’s ‘work’. Not bad at all. Now it’s competition time.

Competition

  1. When was the last public speech when Tony Blair spoke the word, “socialism”.
  2. Does Tony Blair even know what the word means?
  3. Is it legal to bundle someone out of the way if they do attempt to perform a lawful arrest?

The Olympic flame of corporatism toured Cardiff

When I was a lad, the idea of the Olympic flame being carried across nations and by everyone before marking the opening ceremony of the Games was an inspiring notion. The Olympic Games seemed beyond politics, a force for peaceable cooperation between peoples and a powerful symbol of our collective humanity. Back then, amateurism was rigorously enforced.

These days, all the athletes are professionals. I have no problem with in itself. The problems creep in when they have to give something back to the corporate world in exchange for their financial donations. This isn’t sponsorship, this is purchasing! Consequently we are bombarded with adverts. My routine pedestrian pilgrimage to B&Q, a six mile round trip, is not enhanced by seeing a photograph of Holly Bleasdale promoting a sandwich made by Subway with the words, “TRAIN HARD, EAT FRESH” and “PERSONAL BEST”.

I’m sure that no-one with half a brain really thinks that Ms Bleasdale eats Subway sandwiches as part of her training programme. Doubtless, she is pleased by the money Subway pay her. This sort of advertising encourages feckless people to eat a certain brand of sandwich, not to take up pole vaulting. This isn’t a beautiful way to promote sporting endeavour. It is the ugly way. Time for a video. Here’s Ms Bleasdale in action. No sandwiches in sight.

As the Olympic Flame winds its way around the country, we get urged to go out to visit it. My bestest friend, @ian_bec did precisely that. Ian’s a voracious reader, highly intelligent and a history teacher the kids of Cardiff are lucky to have. He’s also new to twitter but please consider this endorsement a very early #ff! This is his pictorial reportage from the ground that the hallowed Olympic Flame travelled over on 26th May 2012. All images are reproduced with his kind permission – click on them to enlarge. The subtitles are @ian_bec‘s tweets.

First up the Met on motorbikes

 

Then a bus with some police in it ‪

Then a car with a mascot waving out the window

 

Samsung bus with loud tinny positive blaring pop music and people on top jumping up and down exhorting

Then Coca Cola doing the same

Hey, thanks for cleaning your emissions Coca Cola

 

No cheerleaders aboard the vintage Lloyds TSB bus (problems have been reported, unpopular company apparently)

Then more police outriders, a bit of hanging about

This next bus had tracksuited police in branded ‪#Olympics‬ gear and I'd badges on shoulders. Elite unit?

This van had cameras in front "We are filming you" and press hanging out the back

At last the torchbearer! Surrounded by cordon of tracksuited police

Here, I interrupt @ian_bec’s report to note that I had expected the torch bearer to represent the Olympic spirit of healthiness and sporting physique. Not a fatty. Perhaps she’s been feasting on the less healthy menu options from Subway? Can’t see her throwing herself a top a pole to vault over something incredibly high….

And finally, more police. Overall impression was of, well, a police cavalcade. Is Grangetown really so dangerous?

Grangetown is a district of Cardiff. I’ve been there a plenty and have always felt very safe. The last time I visited, there was some kind of teenage fight developing in the street but an older lad, who appeared to working in a nearby takeaway shop, came over and broke it up. He sent the two sides off in different directions. This is a place where all the doors are open, where neighbours know each other and family values are evidently very strong. Given all that, it will come as no surprise to learn that many of the area’s residents are of the Islamic faith.

Of course, it is trite to point out that the whole Olympic torch tradition was started under Hitler’s regime. Let’s take a look at the torch procession from 1936.

Although many people I know and respect are protesting against the corporate cash cow that is the modern Olympics, I hesitate to join them. Some part of the small boy in me, who dreamed of one day carrying that flame, still hopes that the event itself will inspire youngsters and other to take up sporting endeavours. However, these endeavours are now tarnished by the apparent ownership of the games by big corporations. What on earth was an unhealthy soft drinks manufacturer and a bank doing escorting the flame? Are the police there to protect them? All the big sports are now in hock to corporate sponsors, with the result that much of the field and track action has become meaningless. It is much less than ever about the place you come from. It’s more to do with where the money comes from. Football has become like Formula One, albeit with the occasional upsets to the published programme. Olympian pursuits are now similarly absurd, with increasingly small fractions of a second (or a centimetre) being shaved off records and althletes being famous for their personal glory rather than their inspiration.

Although I’m not protesting against the Olympics, I doubt that I will watch any of them. The whole package, draped in private profits, is too unseemly to bear witness to.

By the way, if you do want to protest against the Olympics, Space Hijackers have hit their satirical arrow right on the archers’ bullseye, with an Official Protest The Olympics site. They’ve got ten reasons why you might want to protest against the Olympics.

Will Tony Blair be arrested tomorrow?

Tony Blair will be giving evidence to the Leveson Enquiry tomorrow. A number of people may attempt to arrest him under the 6th Nurembourg Principle, which outlaws crimes against peace. It’s about time. The evidence is clear: together with the then American President, George W Bush, he deliberately launched a war without the backing of the United Nations Security country against a nation which was not, at the time, threatening any other country. Iraq used to be a rather nice place, I’m reliably informed. A place where westerners were welcomed. Not anymore.

A few years ago, a friend of mine urged me to action on the matter myself. “Come on you lawyers“, he said, “sort it out“. I explained that we needed to gather evidence first. Back then, I did not think that we had sufficient evidence for there to be reasonable prospects of a conviction. Since then, much has been revealed. In my view, the evidence does now justify a trial.

The scourge of predatory capitalists everywhere, George Monbiot, maintains a website called Arrest Blair For Crimes Against Peace. Funds are collected via this website. One quarter of the pot is paid out to anyone who attempts a peaceable citizen’s arrest according the site’s rules. So far three attempts to arrest Mr Blair have resulted in payouts from the fund, all in 2010: £2,619.67 to Grace McCann; £2,801.98 to David Cronin and £3,129.02 to Kate O’Sullivan. Here’s the last arrestor being interviewed after she attempted to bring Mr Blair to justice.

I’d love to attempt to arrest Tony Blair for principled reasons but I’d do it for the cash. I suspect my card has been marked for some time though and I doubt that I could get anywhere near him. I did once stand next to his missus, the delightfully attractive Cherie Booth, at a party. She’s one of those people who isn’t at all photogenic. In the flesh, she oozes appeal. However, I don’t think that’s the reason that almost everyone wanted to speak to her on the occasion that ADR Chambers was launched.

They wanted to speak to her for a variety of reasons. Doubtless some of them wanted to bend the ear of the wife of the Prime Minister. I doubt any of them wanted to bed the wife of the Prime Minister. Most of them probably just wanted to ostentatiosly refer to having had a conversation with her. As they all scraped their way around the room to their illustrious target, they each had to talk to me first. Mostly they were candid: “I’m only talking to you because you’re standing next to Cherie Booth and I want to talk her.” That was fine by me. Each one chatted to me for a bit and just as they managed to catch the desired female eye, they broke off their conversation and departed my company. With each I left a tip, loud enough for the woman who sleeps with a war criminal to hear. “Don’t mention the war“, I said.

Cherie Booth was a professional eye-catcher. She caught my eye several times (not in that way) and made herself look very approachable, before I started making the war comments. Whilst she wasn’t going to approach anyone, all were welcome to attend upon her. The whole parade was very much like one of those period dramas of which my wife is so fond, except that we lacked the spectacular costumes and the heavily codified etiquette. Well, I did. By the end of the evening, only I had not spoken to the top drawer. That was my quietened protest.