Barely a week after Virgin Media turned up to readjust the signal to my house, which they’d obviously adjusted erroneously in the first place, barely a week of having a download speed which is never more than one quarter of what I pay for and… … whaddya know? It’s fucking busted again. Are they taking the proverbial or what?
Virgin Media has an absolute monopoly over the fibre optic internet cables delivered to residential UK. Cable should be the fastest. That’s what Virgin Media boasts too, so it’s both technically possible and commercially advantageous. Verging on-taking-the-piss-so-blatantly-that-it-might-as-well-have-written-you-a-letter-to-tell-you-about-it Media, more like. The funny thing is, a moderate to heavy net user like myself (who doesn’t torrent etc.,) should expect to stay within Virgin Media’s Throttling Policy. That this company consistently delivers around about 8Mbps, rather than the promised 30Mbps demonstrates the deliberation. This is the really ugly side of predatory corporatism.
This body corporate is the bastard child of Branson’s youthful affair with entertainment being fun. Now it feeds on us vampyrically, quadrupling its turnover with every megabyte, yet only serving a quarter of the promise meal. That’s the thing. The thing that Richard Branson realised. The thing about making much more money from stuff people need, rather than just the fun things. Along the way, Richard Branson turned from being a loveable rogue, to a bit a of a playboy (so he would like to think), to being a respected employer, to being a bit of a dickhead. At least he’s a rich dickhead. That’s nice for him.
I bet Virgin Media’s broadband service is a really nice juicy cash cow for Richard fucking Branson. Richard fucking-us Branson, more like. Instead of serving up the service which we all know it owns, it serves up only a quarter of it. Any other business operating like this and you’d have a hefty set of charges levied. Perhaps it really is time to organise a class action for the recovery of funds expended for a service which only delivered 25% of what we paid for? Probably even Vlad The Branson would notice the shortfall in the blood supply.
Without looking into the law too deeply, several lines of attack spring to mind. One attractive option could be a mass action for the recovery of funds under section 2(1) Misrespresentation Act 1967 (I think it’s ’67, it’s been a while). Doubtless there are others.
Earlier this evening I finally tried to log into “My Virgin Media”. Good God! It insisted that I use an email address which actually began with something like RD783298@ and then had the old ntl address. How long ago did Virgin buy ntl’s cables? How is anyone suppose to use an email which they have not heard of since before that time. Consequently, it is impossible, despite Virgin Media already having a password for me, absolutely impossible, to login to Virgin Media. ‘I’ll get through on the phone‘. No chance. Should have remembered last week’s tip of getting up before six to catch the start of the queues for Customer Support.
If anyone is in any doubt about my feelings towards Virgin Media, let them hear just one word: utter contempt. Two words. Utter fucking contempt, hatred, loathing and a desire, a bad desire, for revenge. This revenge will be financial. Alone I cannot hurt Branson’s bastard but soon, I shall have an army of many and we shall all be angry victims of organised crime, determined to put a stop to the thieving. If, along the way, one of Richard’s rockets blows up and a bit comes down and smashed into his rose garden when bastard Branson is standing close by, I, for one, will not be upset.